6 Best “Mom Advices” I’ve Ever Received

Just like there is no warning for childbirth, there is no preparation for the sight of a first child. There should be a song for women to sing at that moment, or a poem to recite. But perhaps there is none because there are no words strong enough to name that moment. - Anita Diamant

No one gets more unsolicited advice than a new mom. From in laws to co workers, the hospital nurse, even your  friends with no kids have knowledge to share. Although they mean well, it can overwhelming trying to take it all in while navigating  a baby who did not come with a  manual.

As a new mom, I had to sort out through quite of few advices and opinions. Some of them I didn't care for, others really helped keep sanity. So what better way to honor and celebrate Mother's Day than to share this knowledge with you, especially the new mommies or expecting mommies.

1) Breastfeeding is not a walk in the park.

I wanted to punch my sister straight in her face when she said this to me with a firm tone, one day after I gave birth. As if I had not figured that out already! I was sleep deprived, my milk wasn't flowing yet, my daughter was staying on my breasts all night, and I was ready to call it quits. Nothing gets you ready for those first few latches. Nothing! I was fooled by those instagram mommies taking candid shots of them breastfeeding in public as if it just came naturally. Breastfeeding is hard work. It is painful initially, frustrating, and it requires consistency. If you're feeling overwhelmed, do not be afraid to reach out to a lactation specialist in your area. There are also support groups available on social media. Take heart! When you stick it out, the benefits for both you and your baby are totally worth it.

2) You weren't breastfed and You're just fine!

I gave breastfeeding my very best. For four months I pumped, and power-pumped. I ate lactation cookies, and every Haitian meal that is under the sun to help with keeping up my supply, but it was never enough. Especially when my baby stopped latching, so I had to supplement with formula. The first thing people want to know is whether your baby is breastfed, as if not breastfeeding is somewhat shameful. Well here's some news for you: Breastfeeding isn't for everybody, and that's A-OKAY!  There should be no guilt or shame associated with bottle feeding. When I would get frustrated to the point of tears with my lack of supply, I'm so glad that my mom was there to remind me that a bottle fed baby,  is still fed! I wasn't breastfed, and I came out pretty healthy I must say.

3) Ask for help and accept all the help that you can get. 

I beg you. Please ignore the feeling of "I must do everything myself for my baby", and ask for help when you need it, because you will need it! I'm so thankful for people who cooked me meals for weeks, watched my baby while I slept, ran errands when I was too tired to do it, even did my dishes! No matter how small of a task, do accept help when it is offered.

4) There is no such thing as a spoiled baby. 

Read that again, and again, and again!

I don't know who came up with the idea that holding, soothing, and bonding with your baby is defined as spoiling. Your baby will be little for only so long. You won't get that time back. They'll never be a newborn again, they'll never cluster feed again, you'll never have that first tooth moment again. So if you wanna hold your baby through the night, or prefer to co sleep, it is absolutely fine! Enjoy each moment as much and as long as you want.

5) Sleep when the baby sleeps. 

This may seem impossible the first couple of months because newborns sleep very little since they have to feed around the clock. Especially those who are breastfeeding. But once they start to get on a schedule, do yourself a favor and take that nap right along with your baby. As a stay at home mom, it was really hard for me to find balance the first couple of months. Sometimes I wouldn't get a chance to fix breakfast until 3 PM. I would literally burn myself out. Until I remembered that I needed to stay sane, and in my right mind, in order to care for my family. Til today, you will find me in bed with my daughter  napping at 3 o'clock in the afternoon! Without a shame!  With that said, forget the dishes that are piling up in the sink, or the laundry that needs to be done. REST! You need to recharge. You'll get around to doing things eventually.

6) Everything will happen eventually.

I am still co sleeping with my daughter. She is 7 months old. She doesn't want to eat solids and she's still feeding at night. I used to fuss over the things that I couldn't get right. I can't get her to stay in her crib, I can't get her to take the spoon, I can't do this, or that... Until someone reminded me that everything will happen eventually. At some point, we all eat solids, we all sleep in our bed, and I've never met a teenager that wasn't potty trained!

So cut yourself some slacks. Everyhting  will happen eventually!

What are some advices that have helped you navigate through motherhood?

Happy Mother's Day!