{"id":1178,"date":"2017-10-05T15:05:43","date_gmt":"2017-10-05T19:05:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iamlauracharles.com\/?p=1178"},"modified":"2017-10-05T15:37:19","modified_gmt":"2017-10-05T19:37:19","slug":"6-ways-get-tough-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iamlauracharles.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/05\/6-ways-get-tough-times\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Ways That I Get Through Tough Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\u201cJust like the lotus flower we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness and radiate into the world.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Thousands of Pinterest quotes and #MotivationMonday\u00a0 can be found all over social media reminding us that \"Life is tough but so are you\". Church folks will even quote all the verses they can think of in reference to being \"strong and courageous\". We are taught to \"get out of our feelings\" and to quickly \"move on\". We are told that the secret lies in thinking positive thoughts, praying and meditating.<\/p>\n

What we aren't taught however was that there are no \"formulas\" \u00a0on how to avoid the tough times. In fact kind of\u00a0 I wish that they actually offered a How To Navigate Through Life's Challenges 101 class in college instead of classes like \"Discrete Math\" ! They fail to tell us that sooner or later, we all get a brick thrown in the face \u00a0at the most unexpected time; bankruptcy, death, miscarriage, divorce, cancer ...those things that you never once thought would happen to you. I get so skeptical when things are going well, because life has a way of making us feel like we've got all it all figured out, until we realized that we really have nothing figured out!\u00a0<\/p>\n

It's true that people grieve and deal with situations differently, however no one is immune to pain<\/strong>. No matter how positive, spiritual, or successful we are, we will all go through tough times. Sure tough times don't last! \u00a0But how do you get through those tough times when you're not strong enough to be \"tough\"?\u00a0<\/p>\n

I certainly don't have the answer to every question, nor am I a therapist. But I can share with you some of the things that have helped me get through some tough times in the past.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

#1 Allow Yourself To Grieve <\/h3>

In order to grieve, we have to first acknowledge pain. Pain demands to be felt, and the longer we linger in denial, the longer the healing process takes. Psychologists have identified Denial as the first stage of grief<\/a>. Going into isolation, and avoiding dealing with a situation are normal initial reactions. But you've got to allow yourself to move past the denial stage in order to get to the acceptance stage. \u00a0<\/p>\n

I went through a grieving period of my life, where I just wanted to sleep through the pain. I was in college, living on my own, and I remember getting home every day and taking over the counter sleeping pills to go right to sleep, whether it was at noon or 6pm. My denial stage must have lasted a couple months, I lost track of time, and still can't quite remember now. My reality check came when I started having shortness of breath, and felt uneasy in my skin. It was only a matter of time before my clothes couldn't fit, and realized that I gained about 30 lbs in a matter of months! I had develop arthritis and started having hormone imbalance issues. While I was trying to avoid dealing with certain things, I was literally making myself sick. By then I had no other choice but to acknowledge the pain, and anger of now having to deal with the excess weight. My two options were to either let everything consume me, or nurture myself back to health.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

#2 Fast & Pray <\/h3>
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\u00a0Fasting is a temporary renunciation of something that is in itself good, like food, in order to intensify our expression of need for something greater; namely, God and his work in our lives. - John Piper<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Sometimes we need to show God how desperate we are! There are situations that you are faced with that requires that you not only pray, but also fast. This is not to say that prayer in itself isn't sufficient, but sometimes fasting is the only way to get our minds and our bodies to solely focus on God.<\/p>\n

There are many resources available in reference to fasting. The way you decide to fast is entirely up to you. You may do intermittent fasting where you fast half day, and eat the other half. You can also do the Daniel Fast<\/a> which I've done several times before. You may decide to fast on your own, or with fellow church members, friends, and family. My friends and I have done a 30 days praying & fasting using the book Draw The Circle<\/a>, and some of our prayers had been answered even before we finished the fast. Sometimes we need guidance on how to pray specific, and intentional prayers.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

#3 Seek Professional Help <\/h3>

I must've been 20 years old when I found myself sitting in front of a therapist for the very first time. I wasn't sure what my \"issue\" was, but I was on the verge of changing my major for the fourth time, I was having anxiety attacks after dealing with the murder of a former schoolmate, and my father getting kidnapped due to political instability in Haiti. I was avoiding friends, skipping class, and walked away from a perfectly fine relationship for no valid reasons. I didn't know how this stranger would be able to help, but I knew that I needed to get help.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Thankfully I was able to have access to free counseling sessions at the college that I attended. I met with my therapists once a week, and was able to work though some issues that I had been carrying with me since my teenage years. Talking to a therapist can help with finding ways to deal with problems, discuss coping mechanisms, career choices, dealing with grief or issues at home.\u00a0<\/p>\n

A great deal of health insurance will cover counseling, and most colleges offer free sessions to their students. In my field of work, I've encountered several children who had social and learning difficulties due to the issues they were having at home. These children were carriers of their parents issues. Recognizing the importance of identifying and resolving conflicts brought my mother and I to offer all parents and students counseling sessions through our school therapist. No matter how young, or old you are, your mental health is equally important as your physical health.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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#4 Read Books & Listen To Podcasts <\/h3>

The very first self help book that I read was The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I was still in high school and learned so much from it as a teenager looking for her way and purpose. Then I went on to read The Success Principles<\/a>\u00a0 by Jack Canfield that my father gave me as a high school graduation present. I've been indulging in self help books ever since.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Some of my all time favorites are:<\/p>\n